What's more dangerous than Nuclear weapons!?

Here's what my friend and I think about the weapon that could deliver more damage than an nuclear missiles and crap; WOMEN BEHIND WHEELS!!!

Why? Here's why...



First - Extreme lanes and speeds:

Yes, Mostly they suck at driving skills at start... They drive at extreme speed in extreme lanes... And by that, I mean they drive extremely slow on the left lane where it should be the fastest lane or the other way around; drive extremely fast on the right lane where it should be the slowest lane...

And when they drive, they really need to concentrate... And I mean that when they go at extreme fast lane with extreme slow speed and you're behind them in an emergency (Answering nature call or your friends are eating without you), they REALLY need to concentrate on whether when to turn to the middle lane...

And they only decide to turn when there's a car next to them... And they turn to the middle lane, AAAAAND go all the way to the right lane sweeping whoever gets in their way...

And it's ALWAYS your fault because she's a girl and need to concentrate...

Well, such issue is resolved by time when they gain experience from real streets rather than the areas they've been training on...

Yes, I might be over-exaggerating, but it's true... And yes, there's ALOT of good driving women as well... But they're lethal as well (I'll explain later on)...



Second - NFS drivers:

Every now'n'then I drive in gulf street I see a cop pulling over a girl and I think "Oh crap! He's after her mobile number"... As it turned out, it's mostly not for that reason... Recently, girls started to drive so recklessly!!!

They just drive fast regardless the lane they're taking and just passing by cars even though it shouldn't fit (Other cars usually move away giving them space so they wouldn't get hit)... And because they're mostly daddy's girl(s), they get fast luxury cars (Porsche Cayenne Turbo SSSSSS or Range Rover Turbo HSE CBK HTI WRL... Imaginary letters, but I had to kick'em in for the fun of it)...

Funny thing, they even perform car stunts and stuff that I can't even do (I lack such crazy useless skills)...

This issue might get solved when the girl turns 40 years old... Or maybe 50... Or 60...



Third - Queens of the left lane:

This does frustrates me ALOT...

Imagine a woman driving at the left lane in gulf street with the speed of 50KMpH~60KMpH and you're in the left lane driving at 80KMpH...

Eventually you'll have to slow down to her speed... But it's the left lane... She gotta move aside or at the very least drive at 80KMpH (Since it's the legal maximum speed she could go on gulf street while the urban maximum speed is 200KMpH)...

So you flash her (Not the moobs flashing you idiots!! The car flashers thingy!!) or honk your horn since you're abit of surrounded... But in her own mind, you're following her and wants her number or something so she decides to sticking to whatever she's doing... And when you see an opening that could allow you to avoid her and pass her, she decides that it's time to move away and let you pass (Or in her own mind, get near her so you could ask for her number and do the kuwaiti thang... Yes, thang)... So you go to the right lane and kiss the traffic light and all...


Now, I talked about direct damages they cause... And I'm sure there's a big amount of men behind wheels with similar (if not exact) categories of driving issues, but it's a no-match for women behind wheels when it gets to statistics and numbers... Yes, Men can be stupid and idiot drivers and a huge amount are... But when it gets to numbers, women outnumber men for the following reasons:
1 - Statistically, females outnumber males in term of existance in Kuwait (FACT).
2 - Women haven't been driving in real streets before applying for driving license while men usually start learning how to drive when they reach 15 or 16 years old... Few exceptions.
3 - Women usually gets it easy when they run the test drive and try-outs while men usually gets abused and over tested... Few exceptions.
4 - When men were kids, they're ALWAYS obsessed with cars so driving is mostly in their blood while when women were kids, they're mostly obsessed with dolls and stuff... Few exceptions.



Now it's time to talk about Indirect damages they cause:



First - Innocent womAn:

I'm sure everyone is familiar with a lexus (Or even sometimes a camry) is followed by 9276492629287346297E8237642983 cars ranging from crappy Sunny to Lamburginis and cars that you've only seen in Magazines (Or maybe in other planets)...

Such situation is caused by a women driving in peace and followed by single\double\short\long\integer\float\word\string*** men trying to get her number or something... And since she's a single woman, it can't be sedusive (I'll explain this point later) because she's alone and only driving to reach her destination (Malls, restaurants, movies or someone's house for whatever reason)...

This point can evolve if there was womEn not just a single womAn...

This can happen in 3 forms:

a - Victim on the right lane:
This form rarely happens since women aren't attracted to right lanes because they're the slow lanes (I'm not interested in such lane as well)... And in this form, the innocent women get's surrounded by cars... The cars ahead of her usually slows down, the cars on the middle and left lane struggle and fight over the right spot to be able to talk to her, the cars behind her will join the fight... The innocent women is trapped and literally can't drive... So accidents happens and crap

This form usually allows you to make use of the left lane to pass such moving bottle-neck


b - Victim on the left lane:
This form usually happens since that lane is the awesomest... Innocent women would move away if you flashed her (Sometimes not)... But because she's surrounded by horny 16~61 years olds (And sometimes 601 years old), she can't...

Such form is frustrating since you can't really pass them because the right lane is the slow one and drivers tend to be real slow trying to match their speed with the innocent victim...


c - Victims on the middle lane:
This is the common form that happens in the majority of such cases... The victim gets literally trapped in every direction and can't really drive because she's surrounded in every single direction...

This form usually gets irritating but you sometimes can get through this could of horny men behind wheels



Second - Sedusive women:

A small car (Let's just say Ford Focus) filled with Alienware headed girls (7jaab Bu taf5a) seducing guys and messing around with them in whatever form they're trying to apply (Playing rap music, dancing and shaking the packages, shouting and yelling for guys)...

This can happen in the previous 3 forms but with more annoying results and escape methods...

But what's so special in this case is that, they actually get to choose who wants who (As if you're shopping a grocery store for men)... Every car can reflect the man's personality (Exceptions may occur here):
1 - Crappy dirty cars with loud music: Careless guy (Or usually bunch of guys) and probably short on financially resources... If the girls are desperate they'd hunt'em...
2 - Desperately pimped out cars: A guy who think he's cool because he pimped out his 500 decades old car with gum and ducktape (QUACK!!)... They're desperate girls target in major scenarios.
3 - Normal salon cars: Usually a serious guy who might want a serious relationship...
4 - Big cars: CAUTION: SMALL PENIS!!!
5 - Affordable luxury cars (Mercedes, Lexus, BMW, Jaguar): The amount of phone credits you could get might worth their car :P
6 - Unaffordable super cars (Ferrari, Lamburgini, Maserati and so on): These guys might be renting the car for few days... But if they actually bought it, they can buy you and few neighborhoods next to your house.
7 - Bikers: Bunch of assholes that girls would want'em to probably have a ride or two in their bikes.




Third - Wandering ghost(s):

They have no real reason for driving... They just want to drive probably because they're having a bad day or they just like driving... Decent drivers... Good skills... Good driving experience... But guys always follow them and cause driving stunts just to reach'em... They'd reply in a possitive (Exchanging numbers) or negative way (Giving you the finger)... They just want to have their peace driving but guys wouldn't let them





Now, why's that more dangerous than nuclear weapons? Here's why:

Because if a nuclear weapon striked Kuwait, the whole country will be wiped outta existance and I'd have a reason to be involved in such attack because I belong to that country... It'll be an International issue that will get countries involved and leaders having talks and stuff...

But when I drive totally peacefully in the middle lane at the speed 60KMpH~70KMpH and I get hit by a reckless Yukon driver (God damnit!! You have a huge car!! You must watch where you're going!!) because he was speeding after some seducing girls in a Nissan Maxima (They're only missing RedBull and a Cigerette to become fully 3agad), I will have to deal with that person who would come outta the car yelling at me because I didn't make way for him... And I'd mostly screw up because that person would have connections to bail him out while I don't have any connection at all (Or I would've been having a better life)...




Things I learned from "Women Behind Wheels":
* When you see a street bottle-neck, always assume it's a girl hunting group before you assume it's a car accident or a check point (Unless it's 18:00 in a weekend in gulf street... That means they're all going to Marina Mall)...
* Most of the seducive girls aren't that pretty, but we're horny enough to think they are...
* What's more dangerous than "Women behind wheels" is "Fags\Gays behind wheels"... Men will STILL follow such homosexual males...
* Most of gulf street cars are rented... And most of the rented luxury cars are rented for few days...



***Incase you don't get the joke here; in programming, there's different types of variables depending on the way they're handled... And since single represents a martial state and in the same time represents a variable time, I thought of kicking the rest types... I'm sure most of readers wouldn't get this joke, but I'm sure some would :P)...