Waaaaw... You have a Porsche and you still think I'll beat you... Waaaaaaaaw!!

I received a call from mom telling me that my brother is having a surgery which freeked me out... Even though it's a minor surgery, it still freeks me out...

Anyway, she wanted me to stay over at the hospital and sleep there in case he needed anything...

And to make things worst, I had to drop one of his friends because he's depending on me to drive him back home from Salwa to somewhere beyond infinity :P

So, on my way from Salmiya to Salwa, I had to pass through Ta3awun Street stepping on the peddle at max...

I passed by this Porsche and had to shift my gear up when I reached him since my RPM reached 6000... And he was really driving slowly...

Next thing I know he stepped on it and literally became 5 meters ahead of me in a second or two... Woah!! That's fast...

But really, why would a Porsche want to race a slowpoke Mitsubishi Lancer!? He could beat me driving in reverse for fuck sake!!

I swear I'm not trying to race or anything... I'm just in a hurry to drop my friend to his house and go back to my brother and spend the night there hearing his snores (He's actually snoring right now next to me... I'm writing this while he's asleep)...

Why did he had to sink as low as my car's level just to beat me? He could've U-turned and had fun with other cars in his level (Or maybe A level [My car is few levels lower than his])...



Well, I couldn't help but hav my own fun...

I turned my right signal as if I wanted to take right... And because he was ahead of me, he took right... Then I turned off my right signal and went on straight driving as slow as 40kmph, honking on the horn, laughing at him and enjoying his angry face and expressions :P



I LOVE DOING THAT TO SUCH IDIOTS!!! YOU MIGHT BEAT ME IN A RACE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DRAMATICALLY BETTER\FASTER CAR, BUT YOU CAN'T BEAT MY PRANKS :P

Childhood obsession

I know this IS a useless post, but aren't most of my posts useless? :P

Anyways, I like to wear t-shirts like crazy. I wear'em when I go to sleep, when I go out, when I work on something, when I... Wait, I WEAR'EM ALL THE TIME!!!

And since I like stuff like "cookie monster" and other childish stuff that I, myself, find'em funny, I tend to wear t-shirts and even boxers of'em...

And for some reason people don't like the fact that a 24 years old man that wears t-shirts with funny\childish stuff on'em (And that includes my both parents, my older brother, aunts and uncles, some friends and those who meets me for the first\second time)...



Now, take 4 steps backword (Yes, 4... The random number) and take another look...



First of all, we still like childish stuff even when we grow up.

I mean, just switch your TV to Tom & Jerry and witness almost every family member (including the maid and driver) sit there and enjoy the show...

So how's Tom & Jerry isn't as childish as Sesame Street? It's actually more childish than Sesame street...

What about Bugs Bunny? Betty Poop? (Couldn't help it... Sorry :P ), Popeye? Donald Duck? Hello Kitty?

Y'know, the list is endless... But for some reason they consider Sesame Street, Barney the gay dinosour and Teletubbies the homosexuals are too childish and shouldn't be something to be liked when you grow older than 7 years (Well, I personally would forbid my kids to watch Barney and Teletubbies... Just so not as educational as Sesame Street)...

I dislike Barney and actually forcefully liked Teletubbies (My cousin used to force me to watch it till I liked it and she hates it now :P )...



Secondly, there's nothing left to wear BUT funny childish t-shirts.

Take another 4 steps to the back and turn 4 degrees to the right... You'll witness how lame and stupid t-shirts became...

Take a close look and you'll see how gay things turned...

You can actually predict a person (In our case, guys) behavior and personality by his t-shirt...

The brighter and glittery the color is the more douche bag and (bi\homo)sexual the wearer is... [Ofcourse, there's an exception for every rule, but the key word is "AN EXCEPTION"... Which means you can find probably ONE person who's hetrosexual and isn't a douche bag]...

And you better be careful when you see a dark t-shirt person... It's hard to predict the following:
* They could be (bi\hetro\homo)sexuals whether they know it or not...
* Emos...
* Weed\Joint\Alcohol\Whatever Junkies...
* Goth wannabies (It can easily show by the face)
* Well or ill mannered



There's this saying that goes like "Wear what the others want you to wear and eat what you want to eat" (Literal Arabic-To-English Translation somehow)...

I'm totally against that saying... I wear what I like to wear (As long as it doesn't offend anyone) and eat what I like to eat (I don't care if it offends you or not... It's getting IN MY TUMMMEEEH!!!)...

I'm not against what would others wear because it reflects their personality (Unless they're wearing dishdashas and formal suits... Things can get tricky in here)...

Which is why I don't wear what common Kuwaitis wear: Polo shirts (They've been here since I was born and they just started to wear it 2~3 years ago... I wonder why :P)...



If wearing [Cookie Monster\Domokun\Stewie] t-shirts is childish and only means I'm still a child, well, atleast I'm straight, well-mannered, well-educated, have various useful hobbies that makes use of my time and totally not a typical Kuwaiti with almost no goal in life

What the hell am I doing!?

Y'know when you sometimes have a headache that you kinda enjoy it?

Doesn't hurt much, but gives you some weird atmosphere and all... You don't? Well, I do :P


Here's what happened:


I came back from a friend's place yesterday around 03:00. And Luckily today is a vacation so I don't really have to worry my parents lecturing me about "Sleep early to wake up early for college" thing.


Anyways, the good thing is that I slept at my friend's place for three hours which would make me stay awake for a day (or maybe two).


Went back home and started to play Call of Duty 5. Then I fell a sleep (Last time I remember seeing the clock, it was 07:30).


I had this weird dream of me and my mom fighting about eggs. She worries alot when it gets to food (As if it isn't a built-in function in moms). The fight was about not allowing me to eat eggs while I LOVE something called eggs (Specially Kinder Surprise :P).


So yes, the fight lasted 2 hours in my dream (Which in real life, didn't last for 5 minutes), and then I woke up with this weird headache.


I felt as if the world is abit of heavy on my head. Not the "Your fattest friend's heaviness"... It was the "Your GF's heaviness which let's assume she's much lighter than you and you can handle her weight without breaking a sweat" kind of heaviness.


That feeling made me feel and think funny...

I went to my sister's husband (If you recall, he rented the apartment above us), and played zombie on him. I wasn't even acting up! I did the "Oh, I'm too lazy" kind of zombies so he just let me do whatever I want since I can't really do much. I just wanted to do this because I feel like doing it. I can't even open my jaws to bite him.


Done playing zombie stuff then I went to the kitchen to make me some eggs...

Why? Not because I was hungry or anything, it's because of the dream and argument I had there. So I just wanted to eat eggs to piss off my mom (Love you mom) even though it's nothing but a dream (Though she'd get annoyed if she knew I had eggs).


I kicked back somewhere to relax and come to my senses... And when I did, I literally yelled "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!?".

What the hell did I just do? Why did I feel like biting my sister's husband? Why did I eat unproperly cooked eggs (The maid was hiding somewhere doing the laundry)? Why I'm doing this?


Then my niece just popped in my vision going to her mom asking her for something (She's 5 years old). So I decided to play zombie on her, her sister and their mother (Ofcourse, I almost got a black eye :P)...


I think there's no use for me to even try to think about being a normal human being.

And by that, I mean I don't really have to make sense on whatever I'm doing or question my stupid useless actions as long as I'm enjoying them.

Did you enjoy 25th of Feb? I didn't... And my friends didn't as well...

25th of Feb is Kuwait's National Day...

If you've been in Kuwait, you know that the streets will be foamed... Leaving the fact that we HATE foaming thingies in Kuwait and hate the fact that Non-Kuwaitis are celebrating this event (It's Kuwait's National Day... Why Zalamat and Indians celebrate it? It's not Liberation day)

Me and my friends wanted to play basketball in Marina Mall's courts (Celebrating this isn't something we'd do)...

Now, I'll explain why things were bad in my side:

* I was planning on staying home and playing PS3, but I couldn't... They forced me to do so...
* Then when I thought I'm going out, I had to deal with some labor stuff in my house...
* When I finished home labor, my sister gave me some stuff to deliver to her friend...
* I picked up my friend and delivered what she wanted me to drop, then called me to force me on coming back and pick up what she forgot to give me to deliver...
* It's already late and my friends are playing there, so I had to drop my friend from Jabriya to Marina Mall and then come back to Jabriya...

That basically explain why my day was bad... And because of that, I missed the game...



Now allow me to explain why my friends suffered:



One of my friend got his mobile stolen while playing there... His mobile got his friends numbers from his country (Romania)... Now it'll be a pain in the ass to get the numbers back SPECIALLY since his Romanian friends only knows his mobile number... Luckily he's half Kuwaiti and he won't have to worry about identity issues...

And another friend (In the same crime) got her mobile and wallet stolen... Her wallet got her Social Security Number (She's Canadian), credit card (Under her dad's name which hols 1500KD), Abu Dhabi health insurance card, 40KD and other important stuff...
She have to:
* Call her dad to cancel his card which got stolen...
* Go and cancel (or replace) her mobile's SIM card which got numbers that she really depends on for her business...
* Suffer to contact the Canadian embassy to let them know...
* Wait for weeks\months to get her important cards back...



Leaving the argument that it was their fault for being clumsy and careless (Which they mostly weren't), actions were taking and all... But why would someone steal these stuff?
I mean OK, screw the money... Atleast leave the important stuff that you won't have any use of so you wouldn't destroy lives...

How do you want people to think of Kuwait\Kuwaiti people in a possitive way?


So anyways... 25th wasn't a good day for us... I hope whoever reads this (Or not) is having a wonderful day in whatever measurment they're considering...

What's more dangerous than Nuclear weapons!?

Here's what my friend and I think about the weapon that could deliver more damage than an nuclear missiles and crap; WOMEN BEHIND WHEELS!!!

Why? Here's why...



First - Extreme lanes and speeds:

Yes, Mostly they suck at driving skills at start... They drive at extreme speed in extreme lanes... And by that, I mean they drive extremely slow on the left lane where it should be the fastest lane or the other way around; drive extremely fast on the right lane where it should be the slowest lane...

And when they drive, they really need to concentrate... And I mean that when they go at extreme fast lane with extreme slow speed and you're behind them in an emergency (Answering nature call or your friends are eating without you), they REALLY need to concentrate on whether when to turn to the middle lane...

And they only decide to turn when there's a car next to them... And they turn to the middle lane, AAAAAND go all the way to the right lane sweeping whoever gets in their way...

And it's ALWAYS your fault because she's a girl and need to concentrate...

Well, such issue is resolved by time when they gain experience from real streets rather than the areas they've been training on...

Yes, I might be over-exaggerating, but it's true... And yes, there's ALOT of good driving women as well... But they're lethal as well (I'll explain later on)...



Second - NFS drivers:

Every now'n'then I drive in gulf street I see a cop pulling over a girl and I think "Oh crap! He's after her mobile number"... As it turned out, it's mostly not for that reason... Recently, girls started to drive so recklessly!!!

They just drive fast regardless the lane they're taking and just passing by cars even though it shouldn't fit (Other cars usually move away giving them space so they wouldn't get hit)... And because they're mostly daddy's girl(s), they get fast luxury cars (Porsche Cayenne Turbo SSSSSS or Range Rover Turbo HSE CBK HTI WRL... Imaginary letters, but I had to kick'em in for the fun of it)...

Funny thing, they even perform car stunts and stuff that I can't even do (I lack such crazy useless skills)...

This issue might get solved when the girl turns 40 years old... Or maybe 50... Or 60...



Third - Queens of the left lane:

This does frustrates me ALOT...

Imagine a woman driving at the left lane in gulf street with the speed of 50KMpH~60KMpH and you're in the left lane driving at 80KMpH...

Eventually you'll have to slow down to her speed... But it's the left lane... She gotta move aside or at the very least drive at 80KMpH (Since it's the legal maximum speed she could go on gulf street while the urban maximum speed is 200KMpH)...

So you flash her (Not the moobs flashing you idiots!! The car flashers thingy!!) or honk your horn since you're abit of surrounded... But in her own mind, you're following her and wants her number or something so she decides to sticking to whatever she's doing... And when you see an opening that could allow you to avoid her and pass her, she decides that it's time to move away and let you pass (Or in her own mind, get near her so you could ask for her number and do the kuwaiti thang... Yes, thang)... So you go to the right lane and kiss the traffic light and all...


Now, I talked about direct damages they cause... And I'm sure there's a big amount of men behind wheels with similar (if not exact) categories of driving issues, but it's a no-match for women behind wheels when it gets to statistics and numbers... Yes, Men can be stupid and idiot drivers and a huge amount are... But when it gets to numbers, women outnumber men for the following reasons:
1 - Statistically, females outnumber males in term of existance in Kuwait (FACT).
2 - Women haven't been driving in real streets before applying for driving license while men usually start learning how to drive when they reach 15 or 16 years old... Few exceptions.
3 - Women usually gets it easy when they run the test drive and try-outs while men usually gets abused and over tested... Few exceptions.
4 - When men were kids, they're ALWAYS obsessed with cars so driving is mostly in their blood while when women were kids, they're mostly obsessed with dolls and stuff... Few exceptions.



Now it's time to talk about Indirect damages they cause:



First - Innocent womAn:

I'm sure everyone is familiar with a lexus (Or even sometimes a camry) is followed by 9276492629287346297E8237642983 cars ranging from crappy Sunny to Lamburginis and cars that you've only seen in Magazines (Or maybe in other planets)...

Such situation is caused by a women driving in peace and followed by single\double\short\long\integer\float\word\string*** men trying to get her number or something... And since she's a single woman, it can't be sedusive (I'll explain this point later) because she's alone and only driving to reach her destination (Malls, restaurants, movies or someone's house for whatever reason)...

This point can evolve if there was womEn not just a single womAn...

This can happen in 3 forms:

a - Victim on the right lane:
This form rarely happens since women aren't attracted to right lanes because they're the slow lanes (I'm not interested in such lane as well)... And in this form, the innocent women get's surrounded by cars... The cars ahead of her usually slows down, the cars on the middle and left lane struggle and fight over the right spot to be able to talk to her, the cars behind her will join the fight... The innocent women is trapped and literally can't drive... So accidents happens and crap

This form usually allows you to make use of the left lane to pass such moving bottle-neck


b - Victim on the left lane:
This form usually happens since that lane is the awesomest... Innocent women would move away if you flashed her (Sometimes not)... But because she's surrounded by horny 16~61 years olds (And sometimes 601 years old), she can't...

Such form is frustrating since you can't really pass them because the right lane is the slow one and drivers tend to be real slow trying to match their speed with the innocent victim...


c - Victims on the middle lane:
This is the common form that happens in the majority of such cases... The victim gets literally trapped in every direction and can't really drive because she's surrounded in every single direction...

This form usually gets irritating but you sometimes can get through this could of horny men behind wheels



Second - Sedusive women:

A small car (Let's just say Ford Focus) filled with Alienware headed girls (7jaab Bu taf5a) seducing guys and messing around with them in whatever form they're trying to apply (Playing rap music, dancing and shaking the packages, shouting and yelling for guys)...

This can happen in the previous 3 forms but with more annoying results and escape methods...

But what's so special in this case is that, they actually get to choose who wants who (As if you're shopping a grocery store for men)... Every car can reflect the man's personality (Exceptions may occur here):
1 - Crappy dirty cars with loud music: Careless guy (Or usually bunch of guys) and probably short on financially resources... If the girls are desperate they'd hunt'em...
2 - Desperately pimped out cars: A guy who think he's cool because he pimped out his 500 decades old car with gum and ducktape (QUACK!!)... They're desperate girls target in major scenarios.
3 - Normal salon cars: Usually a serious guy who might want a serious relationship...
4 - Big cars: CAUTION: SMALL PENIS!!!
5 - Affordable luxury cars (Mercedes, Lexus, BMW, Jaguar): The amount of phone credits you could get might worth their car :P
6 - Unaffordable super cars (Ferrari, Lamburgini, Maserati and so on): These guys might be renting the car for few days... But if they actually bought it, they can buy you and few neighborhoods next to your house.
7 - Bikers: Bunch of assholes that girls would want'em to probably have a ride or two in their bikes.




Third - Wandering ghost(s):

They have no real reason for driving... They just want to drive probably because they're having a bad day or they just like driving... Decent drivers... Good skills... Good driving experience... But guys always follow them and cause driving stunts just to reach'em... They'd reply in a possitive (Exchanging numbers) or negative way (Giving you the finger)... They just want to have their peace driving but guys wouldn't let them





Now, why's that more dangerous than nuclear weapons? Here's why:

Because if a nuclear weapon striked Kuwait, the whole country will be wiped outta existance and I'd have a reason to be involved in such attack because I belong to that country... It'll be an International issue that will get countries involved and leaders having talks and stuff...

But when I drive totally peacefully in the middle lane at the speed 60KMpH~70KMpH and I get hit by a reckless Yukon driver (God damnit!! You have a huge car!! You must watch where you're going!!) because he was speeding after some seducing girls in a Nissan Maxima (They're only missing RedBull and a Cigerette to become fully 3agad), I will have to deal with that person who would come outta the car yelling at me because I didn't make way for him... And I'd mostly screw up because that person would have connections to bail him out while I don't have any connection at all (Or I would've been having a better life)...




Things I learned from "Women Behind Wheels":
* When you see a street bottle-neck, always assume it's a girl hunting group before you assume it's a car accident or a check point (Unless it's 18:00 in a weekend in gulf street... That means they're all going to Marina Mall)...
* Most of the seducive girls aren't that pretty, but we're horny enough to think they are...
* What's more dangerous than "Women behind wheels" is "Fags\Gays behind wheels"... Men will STILL follow such homosexual males...
* Most of gulf street cars are rented... And most of the rented luxury cars are rented for few days...



***Incase you don't get the joke here; in programming, there's different types of variables depending on the way they're handled... And since single represents a martial state and in the same time represents a variable time, I thought of kicking the rest types... I'm sure most of readers wouldn't get this joke, but I'm sure some would :P)...

Kuwait's random weather

This is something I can NEVER understand; Kuwait's random weather...

And funny thing, people wouldn't understand how amazing it is to have a random weather...

Think about it, if we knew what's our weather is going to be at specific time, things will be so predictable and boring...

Like, "Oh, tomorrow is going to rain, then it'll be sunny for 3 days, then humid for 2 days, then sunny for 7 months"...

But things would be entertaining if the whether became so random (Kuwait's weather)...

Like, "OK, it's sunny... No need to worry about rai... DAMN IT!!! IT'S RAINING!!! MUST GET AN UMBRE... Oh god!! It's dusty now!!! What the hell? It just got muddy!!!!!"...

I always believed in Kuwait's weather being generated by a random function...

Remember the dust few days ago that lasted for few days?
Remember the rain shower that lasted for few hours?
Remember today's fog?












The last dusty picture is special... If you noticed the zoomed area, you'll see the guy's face and "me" thing... I laughed and said "Shasaweelik ya3ny!?" when I first saw it...

Now, Why would we want to know that's you?

I'd understand how proud he would be if the picture was real not photoshoped... As in, Both Amirs (Allah yer7amhum) were standing there and he was behind them... That'd be an honor that I'd probably do it... BUT NOT A PHOTOSHOPED THING!!!

Seriously, Why would we want to know that that noised-up face is you?

All I see is a bald head and a big nose... I mean, I might think he wants us to know he look handsome BUT IT DOESN'T SHOW!!!

What is he expecting us to do? Stop him and shake his hand? Stop him and give him chocolate? Stop him and talk to him?

That's just priceless... I wouldn't be surprised if he got few girls numbers because of that move... Things sunk that low anyways...



Now, leaving that mentally retard behind wheels guy aside, you know by now how extremely random our weather is... Dusty few days ago and Foggy today... I'd say tomorrow it'll rain, but I'm sure the random function will generate something unexpected (Maybe snow)...



Things I learned from Kuwait's weather and that retard guy:
* He probably just got the Kuwaiti Nationality or working hard to get one
* Wearing face mask or not wouldn't matter, You'll inhale dust no matter what
* You can park your car somewhere and make out with your gf\bf (Whether same or different sex)... No one would notice because the heat inside the car will fog the windows so people won't be able to see what's inside
* Drive slowly if it's foggy... You wouldn't see vanishing scenes so often
* Drive extra slow when it's dusty... Whacky drivers are EVERYWHERE

Why the hell would I want to know your email?

I, personally, feel disturbed whenever I see someone's email on a car..

I will mock phew email phenomenon:

Short emails:
So you have a short email like "G7Y-----@hotmail.com".. And you think it's cool...

It's not even short damn it!! the "---------.........----" counts you idiot!!

Beside why the hell do you think it's an interesting email? Because it's short? Well being short and have no meaning behind it (such as name's initials or anything similar) is more stupid than having a normal email!!

And WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT'S COOL WHEN YOU HAVE A HOTMAIL!? IT'S FUCKING FREE!!.. I might consider a paid-email %0.009876152637123E-2763542 cooler.. Like, yourname@yourname.com or what@ever.com...


Uncompleted Emails:
I notice "whatever@hot", "whatever@hot.....com" emails...

What happened to the rest?
Didn't have 250fils to do the rest?
You want to create a riddle out of your email? (Duuuuh)
Too lazy to write the rest? (As if you're the one who's sticking the email.. I'm sure it's the poor mentally and visually violated Indian guy who works in such crappy car shops)
You think it's cool to do it that way? (Well, it's not!)


Emails with useless characters:
I laugh when I see "loooooool@hotmail.com" or "ja7eeeeeeeem---------7834r6weurat7kesrfktz@hotmail.com"

JUST CHANGE THE FUCKING TO SOMETHING ELSE YOU FUCKING RETARD!!


Emails written in *bling bling*:
Something like "agra3aaaani.@live.com" (I think hotmail got its share :P.. And that XXXXXXXX is an 8 digits number since 7 were old fashioned.. Yes you figured, his mobile number)..

WHAT THE HELL!? I'M SURE YOU WONT BUY SUCH SHINEY STUFF FOR YOUR GF\WIFE\BF!! SO WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?


Emails with additional 7~8 numeral digits:
An example: "ad.XXXXXXXX@msn.com"

Is this an indirect way to give your number to a girl\gay guy? What happened to the old fashioned "For Sale XXXXXXXX" stickers?

Now, be creative people you'd probably run by a valid email by adding a first letter of a guy's name with his\her\it mobile number (Or any number)...




Saying that, I have three logically slightly valid reasons to commit such visual and mental violation:

1) I'm cool!! My car has my email written on it..
WELL YOU'RE NOT

2) Hey girls.. I'm a retard!! Add me in MSN Messenger..
ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE TO SCORE WITH GIRLS? And unfortunately it works!! (Did girls sink that low?)

3) Hey everyone! I'm an easy target!! Steal my email and abuse me!!!
Well, it actually works, knowing such ill-mentality, you can figure out his email's password by:
a. Creating a serialized number combinations from 0 to 9 in few shapes.
b. Writing the guy's name in Arabic using english letters (احمد = hpl])
c. Using his mobile number (And hope his email has it so you don't have to rape your mind talking to him) with few alphanumeral combinations
d. Apply the previous steps on the secret answer the all the three steps above failed.
e. JUST ASK HIM THE ANSWER FOR HIS SECRET QUESTION!! HE'LL ANSWER UNCONSCIOUSLY!!



Seriously.. The more I see such phenomenon the more I want to steal their emails and let'em cry to bed :P